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DOCTOR VIC'S CHARTER

Dr. Vic models one

of a collection

of 200 Val Doonican

jumpers he invested

in during the 80's.

Please note: You should never ever take medical advice from Doctor Vic. If you do, make sure you see a real Doctor as soon as possible. Doctor Vic is a Doctor of the Philosophy of life and IPA, nothing more nothing less. Advice should be acted on with care, and as an absolute last resort. However, if you want to talk about Dolly Birds, On The Buses, the three day week, Pans People or what a stunning lady Sam Fox was back in the day, he's your man.

"I'm on call at The Stanhope Arms much of the time. You'll see me on the edge of the bar. If you're feeling a little out of sorts, come up to me and say 'Hi! I've identified you as Doctor Vic!" then you can buy me a pint of IPA. I've got a nice jumper on most of the time, I have a collection of 200 worn by Val Doonican. This helps to put people at ease with me, because theres always a chance I could start crooning 'Elusive Butterfly of love' which most people like. Anyway, why was I selected as the Stanhope's Doctor Vic when I'm not a Doctor? Well my name really is Vic and because I look like one. I have a friendly face, good banter, nice manners and nice glasses. (Not really..Ed.)


People feel they can tell me anything, well thats ok. thats fine, but be warned: I might tell a few other people. I'm not very discreet. It is

what it is, I'm afraid, because I haven't signed anything charter wise.

If you have any private problems I'm not too hot on those either, I do start laughing..particularly If anybody uses the words 'Muffle sticks', 'Don't utilise my Uterus as a way cracking nuts'  'Stankle Areas of Herring'  'Limple Lobbels' or 'Scent of the crapping crab'. All these have been overheard in my surgery, honestly, you'd laugh too. Anyway, here's my charter. I live and die by these rules:. I'll see you in the surgery"


1. Never give sound advice. You'll only get the blame in the end.

2. Always write things people can't read. then you cnt b blaymed.

3. Treat people badly until you know them.

4. Optics aren't the same as Opticals. Try getting a brandy out of an Optical.

5. 'Get away from my hairy area' I once heard at a Mini Cab counselling session. It does mean what you think, as it was uttered after a very heavy desperate looking lady made a lunge at a young bloke on the switch.

6. Finally, don't cut anyone any slack. They'll only hang you with it.

Sometimes, calling the Doctor wasn't the greatest decision ever made. In fact history decrees that nipping down to Boots may have been a much healthier option. Had a long wait to see the Doctor this morning? Check out the dudes who made sure you never collected that prescription.


Doctor Crippen  (Above)

Doctor  Harold Shipman

Doctor Josef Mengele

Doctor Jekyll

Doctor It-up

Doctor No

Doc Holiday

Doc Octopuss


Meanwhile, feeling off colour

aint all bad if you know the right

medics.


DOCTORS WHO ARE

KIND AND TRUSTING


Doctor Doolittle

Doctor Watson

Doctor Beat

Doctor in the house

Doc Hollywood

Doctor Emmet Brown

Doctor Jimmy

Doctor Feelgood


"You've

been self administering?

i'm afraid you need plenty of

rest in the cellar of a now demolished house..."

SAVOUR THE FLAVOUR | The IPA style of beer has a whole lot going for it. First and foremost is taste, which some could argue is an acquired one. The flavour of IPA beer highlights the complex and varied results that can be achieved through hops and other beer ingredient staples. The pronounced and unique flavor profile of IPA allows for a better understanding of brewing beer in general as hops and malts are often identified individually. We truly hope our database will help with the taste discovery process of the thousands of IPAs currently offered.


THE ACRONYM | Acronyms help make the world a better place. Quick and easy to say, but can be a bit mysterious if what it stands for is unknown. In the case of IPA, for India Pale Ale, there could be cause for confusion since India is an important reference with the rich history of the IPA, but not the origin country from which it was first produced.


HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT | The IPA style is over 175 years old, which is a long enough to offer some insight on what the world was up to back then and how things travelled from point A to point B. Again IPA delivers with its often debated history and storied past.


SUB STYLED | The three main styles of IPA are American-style IPA, English-style IPA and Double or Imperial IPA. All of which are consistently produced and are official style category designations in the major beer competitions. Black IPA is an example of a sub style that has appeared on the market in limited quantities. Hybrid IPAs such as Wheat IPA or Belgian White IPA have also gained traction. We of course will cover anything having the slightest bit of a relevant connection to IPA.


UNITS OF BITTERNESS | IBU, or International Bitterness Units, is a standardized measurement synonymous with IPA and provides some insight into how bitter a given IPA will taste. We deconstruct the beer IBU and detail additional factors which limits its ability to provide a consistent exacting bitterness profile among two IPAs with the same IBU.


STRENGTH IN NUMBERS | Alcohol by Volume, otherwise known as ABV, is fairly straightforward. As a beer style category, IPAs have a higher than average ABV. This occurs naturally during the brewing process and many consider it an added bonus.


GOT HOPS? | Hops are present in most beer in one form or another. In the case of IPA, hops are the dominant force of nature, single or multiple varieties, wet, dry and/or whole cone hopped. The possibilities are endless and the balance of a great tasting beer with a bitter flare is what makes brewing IPA more art than science.


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THE MIGHTY PINT THAT IS IPA IS SOLD HERE!

Dr. Crippen.

Think I'll skip being off sick and go to work..

An ice cream seller was today found on the floor of his van covered in hundreds and thousands. Police

said he topped himself.

A TRIP DOWN MEDICAL LANE

A young lad, no more than three feet high came to my surgery looking for some old bike parts. He said: "I'm in a hurry!" "Sit down" I said "and be a little Patient".

Ben considers the whole

thing to be hilarious.